The Greatest Horror of them all…

As we consider our preparations for Halloween (from drawing the curtains and ensuring the lights are all off – it’s an American tradition after all – to merrily carving a gruesome face into a Pumpkin and purchasing vast quantities of sweets for the trick or treating kids), wherever we sit on the traditions of All Hallows Eve, it has come to be associated with scares and horrors as much, if not more than anything else.

Negotiators may be familiar with some of the horrors that lurk menacingly throughout the deal-making process, and there are many to be frightened of. Failing to prepare is a classic example, perhaps the Bela Lugosi (ask your grandparents) of negotiating horrors. Inviting your counterparty to make their proposal first is frequently another – the negotiating equivalent of being in a house in remote Texas, the mailbox of which has “Mr Leatherface” engraved upon it, and deciding it’d be a grand idea to check out what’s in the basement. Withholding important (or simply useful) information can also lead to the kind of blind stumbling around without knowing what’s really happening we might associate with the found-footage genre inspired by The Blair Witch Project – we’ve no idea what’s going on, but goodness it’s all a bit confusing and scary! And worse, there’s (possibly) someone else in the room! Aargh!

But among all the many horrors of negotiation I have experienced, and still see on a spookily regular basis, the greatest horror of them all? The unconditional concession. That moment in the deal when we agree to something, or even offer a nugget up, in the hope it will produce a desired effect, and (if there were a soundtrack to this bit, think the shower scene in Psycho) get nothing in return.

Negotiation is at its heart a trading process – in other words, it is underpinned by an exchange. A two-way street. If whatever we have to offer has any value at all (and it should – otherwise, why would we trade it?) then it’s on us to ensure that we get something of appropriate value in return for that. And not doing so is, for me, the big horror. Why? Principally it’s because of what happens when we see unconditional concessions made in negotiations. The response (initially at best a cursory thanks, more frequently none) is invariably a demand for more concessions – effectively, greed rather than gratitude. And even worse than that? It’s an innate response. There is no training or skill required – people instinctively demand more when given something freely. In other words, it is in negotiating terms an inescapable horror, remorselessly destroying value in deals without conscience or rational thinking, a terrifying monster with an insatiable appetite. If I make a different horrible mistake, but I’m negotiating with an untrained counterparty, under certain circumstances and with lots of luck there’s a slim chance I might get away with it. If I give something away and get nothing in return? I’d have more chance of escaping unscathed if I invited that nice clown I met by the storm drain around for afternoon tea.