That’s for me to know…

Earlier this week we received one of the most anticipated internal emails of the year – the identity of our co-Scotworker who will be overjoyed (or utterly bereft) at their secret Santa gift. For those of us outside the world of espionage, the imperative to conceal information deliberately is comparatively rare, so Secret Santa does carry a certain appeal to those of us with memories of Cold War spy dramas. The excitement of avoiding detection, of ensuring the secrets we hold remain safe, combined with a gift that will preserve your anonymity from the recipient? What’s not to like?

The cloak-and-dagger approach to information that makes Secret Santa enjoyable can be limiting when it comes to our negotiations, however. Frequently what lies behind reluctance to share information has little to do with having fun, however – more often than not, it stems from fear. Fear that a counterparty will exploit the information for their own gain, use it to weaken our position, seek to deny us what we want – all manner of negative associations which inhibit negotiators when it comes to what they choose to share. Sometimes this can be extreme – negotiators won’t even tell their counterparty what they want (which can of course instil a mirrored fear, leading to the negotiating equivalent of whack-a-mole as everyone guesses what the hidden objectives might be). Generally, if you don’t share what it is that you want from a deal, it’s going to be a lot more difficult to get what you want – your counter party is unlikely to guess accurately, and their proposal in the absence of yours is unlikely to delight you - so it’s not a strategy I’d recommend.

Being clear about what you want is a cornerstone of best practice in negotiation, and in order to do that, our advice would be that your preparation needs to be rigorous and structured. If you are prepared, you’ll have considered how you package up information in the context of that particular deal and the individual(s) you will be negotiating with. Investing that time can be enormously valuable in a live negotiation – it should go a long way to quelling whatever fear may have lurked around that information. If the information you are assessing in advance is genuinely contentious, or if it harms your position, then I’d ask: can I negotiate an agreement without that information coming into the conversation? If that is a possibility (by which I mean a realistic outcome rather than what I’d like to think) then why would I raise it? If on the other hand no deal is possible unless the information is discussed, I want the opportunity to prepare around how I would manage that. Most of the time I’d want to take the initiative and frame the issue appropriately and anchor the conversation where it suits me. Ignoring it when it matters increases the risk that when it comes up (which it will) my counterparty will bring it up at a time and in a manner that puts me at a serious disadvantage. I’d rather avoid that!

As to my Secret Santa gift this year? My lips are sealed…